Skrall
14-04-2006, 04:50 AM
Having just seen rik\'s crushing news about the story comp i\'m gonna put up my entry. this is the first 1/7 of it
The Daily Grind
The Chimera?s engines hummed loudly, its tracks sat idle as its passengers unloaded themselves. One among them stood apart, he wore a long black leather trench coat, a scarlet sash and a peak cap. His stern posture and almost ice colt manner seemed out of place with his friendly face accomplices. Helteo Valantine, Commissar of the Gudrun 112th armoured company joined the company commander at a de-briefing. Valantine flanked the left company Colonel Redhik, to the right walked Lieutenant Colonel Cojras. The Colonel was a short man by Gudrun standards, he just under five and a half feet tall, his bright orange hair stood apart from his grey flak jacket. Valantine watched a man in a scruffy military scholar uniform ran up to them, he eyed him with distaste.
?Sir?s and Commissar, the Lord-General is about to begin if you would follow me? he said breathing heavily. The man seemed to be jogging but the three Gudruns merely strode to keep up with him ?here sir,? he said pointing at a steel door ?please go inside?.
The small man scuttled off down the corridor to meet the next command party. Colonel Redhik opened the door and the three walked through the doorway. Valantine couldn?t to focus, he felt blind in the black room was light by a ghostly blue holith aquilla. The three men climbed the stairs, Valentine caught the eye of a Cadian commissar, and he nodded in greeting. Valantine broke into a fake smile and nodded.
?Fellow Commissar, has Lord-general Selust begun the briefing yet??
The commissar moved his lips but a booming voice cut him off ?no commissar, please seat yourselves gentlemen, or stand but be quiet?. The three Gudrun?s sat, Valantine turned to face voice to see the giant holographic head of the Lord-General facing him.
?Now,? said the vox enhanced voice of the general ?I assume everyone is here, if not tough. This is the capital of Aris Undi, Hive city Lurnic? the general head shrunk to a quarter of the size, the rest of the space was filled with the image of large hive city.
?Those of you who have bothered read the basic briefing, or even looked around, you?d have guessed were in enemy territory. Our plan is simple, make a beachhead by capturing the main city. The city has been under bombardment for a fortnight from our artillery??
His holographic face turned to a Mordian Iron Guard commander raising his hand ?Lord-general, what about the cities void shields? I assume even the Heretics have them?.
Selust smiled ?Yes? well they did. Fortunately our friend in the Adeptus Astarte saw to this little? inconvenience. The plan is simple, our armoured regiments will lead a lighting raid on the main entrance,? Valentine?s felt his face break in a smile of pride ?they will be supported by infantry but this is the best chance of breaking what remain of the Heretics defences.? His face seemed to sadden now ?I know you?d like some support from a titian legion but we?ve got more chance of the heretics turning in grox?.
?The Raptor?s did what they could for us, but they were a small force, and they took relatively heavy casualties in assault,? his face grew darker ?Each of you shall receive a briefing later, you are free to leave? except? Valentine waited for the magic words ?the Gudrun 112th, Armageddon steel legion 257th and the Cadian 57th regimental commander remain, please?.
The nine men stayed seated, the giant head watched everyone, with the exception of a few Techpriests and his staff, leave. Valantine watched as the giant general turned to them ?Righto gents, the plan is simple as I?ve said, however I need your armoured regiments to act as a ram. It?ll be bloody and costly work, though they?ll be fame and glory in it for you? He spotted the Cadian and Armageddon commanders exchanging glances ?I know you have gotten use to your regiments, and that you?ll be sad to see your men die.
?Understand this simple principle gentleman, we either win or are overwhelmed. Heretics are a disorganised bunch but even they managed to get themselves together on occasion. I want you to know this, and this is in the strictest confidence, the heretic armies will be upon you in two weeks. You have until then to breach and capture the Hive so we can begin landing our relief forces. Now for the specifics of the assault, our artillery has battered the walls. We think three more days and we?ll have weakened it enough for our assault. Now here\'s where the fun begins...?
Three days after the lord generals briefing and the camps were a flurry of activity. The armoured companies mustered their tanks. The infantry companies had readied themselves for the long march. By first light of the fifth day the force had moved out and was on the march. The force?s flanks covered by the armoured unit, at its head a Banblade, it was the command tank of Valantine and his fellow Commissars. The infantry force began to hang back, the armoured companies coming to the forefront. The tanks came within range, every vehicle fired with cannon and Heavy bolter. The walls shuck under the impacts, it?s masonry and rockcrete chipping and cracking. The basilisks had stopped their strikes. They now pounded the upper tiers of the hive.
Trooper Corvus of the Cadian 57th screamed as he pulled a piece of the Chimeras hull from his arm. It hung limp as he dragged himself from the blackened wreck. He looked around to see other tanks continued their assault. Their gun muzzles flashing as shell after shell pounded the wall. He dragged himself to his feet. He began to register a whining sound. It grew louder, and more began to appear. He threw himself flat as the shells began to fall. He dragged himself back into the broken shell. He sat with his back against himself against the deck plateing. He tried to think how he could escape without being made into jam, but he realised it
Valantine watched as the left flank began to flounder. The Cadian?s were taking a beating from the hives defensive artillery. He watched flames rise as vehicle after vehicle burst into flames. Valantine ducked into the tank, he pushed the vox officer out of the way and grabbed the apparatus.
?This is commissar Valantine of the Gurdun 112th, tell those damned basilisks to aim of the left flank?
A voice screeched back ?I don?t care, do it now or I?ll turn this assault around and drive it down your throat? he shouted.
The vox went silent, the artillery stopped for a moment. Valatine waited, slowly the familiar buzz of basilisk shells began to pound against the cities defender. It was now a matter of who had the more shells and men as to weather the Cadian force would survive. Valantine pulled himself back out of the turret hatch. He watched as the walls around the gate began to crumble. Slowly it gave way. He watched the wall fall
if people like this i\'ll continue with it.
This is my first bit of fan fic for the forums, any Crit welcome.
Thx,
Hawke
The Daily Grind
The Chimera?s engines hummed loudly, its tracks sat idle as its passengers unloaded themselves. One among them stood apart, he wore a long black leather trench coat, a scarlet sash and a peak cap. His stern posture and almost ice colt manner seemed out of place with his friendly face accomplices. Helteo Valantine, Commissar of the Gudrun 112th armoured company joined the company commander at a de-briefing. Valantine flanked the left company Colonel Redhik, to the right walked Lieutenant Colonel Cojras. The Colonel was a short man by Gudrun standards, he just under five and a half feet tall, his bright orange hair stood apart from his grey flak jacket. Valantine watched a man in a scruffy military scholar uniform ran up to them, he eyed him with distaste.
?Sir?s and Commissar, the Lord-General is about to begin if you would follow me? he said breathing heavily. The man seemed to be jogging but the three Gudruns merely strode to keep up with him ?here sir,? he said pointing at a steel door ?please go inside?.
The small man scuttled off down the corridor to meet the next command party. Colonel Redhik opened the door and the three walked through the doorway. Valantine couldn?t to focus, he felt blind in the black room was light by a ghostly blue holith aquilla. The three men climbed the stairs, Valentine caught the eye of a Cadian commissar, and he nodded in greeting. Valantine broke into a fake smile and nodded.
?Fellow Commissar, has Lord-general Selust begun the briefing yet??
The commissar moved his lips but a booming voice cut him off ?no commissar, please seat yourselves gentlemen, or stand but be quiet?. The three Gudrun?s sat, Valantine turned to face voice to see the giant holographic head of the Lord-General facing him.
?Now,? said the vox enhanced voice of the general ?I assume everyone is here, if not tough. This is the capital of Aris Undi, Hive city Lurnic? the general head shrunk to a quarter of the size, the rest of the space was filled with the image of large hive city.
?Those of you who have bothered read the basic briefing, or even looked around, you?d have guessed were in enemy territory. Our plan is simple, make a beachhead by capturing the main city. The city has been under bombardment for a fortnight from our artillery??
His holographic face turned to a Mordian Iron Guard commander raising his hand ?Lord-general, what about the cities void shields? I assume even the Heretics have them?.
Selust smiled ?Yes? well they did. Fortunately our friend in the Adeptus Astarte saw to this little? inconvenience. The plan is simple, our armoured regiments will lead a lighting raid on the main entrance,? Valentine?s felt his face break in a smile of pride ?they will be supported by infantry but this is the best chance of breaking what remain of the Heretics defences.? His face seemed to sadden now ?I know you?d like some support from a titian legion but we?ve got more chance of the heretics turning in grox?.
?The Raptor?s did what they could for us, but they were a small force, and they took relatively heavy casualties in assault,? his face grew darker ?Each of you shall receive a briefing later, you are free to leave? except? Valentine waited for the magic words ?the Gudrun 112th, Armageddon steel legion 257th and the Cadian 57th regimental commander remain, please?.
The nine men stayed seated, the giant head watched everyone, with the exception of a few Techpriests and his staff, leave. Valantine watched as the giant general turned to them ?Righto gents, the plan is simple as I?ve said, however I need your armoured regiments to act as a ram. It?ll be bloody and costly work, though they?ll be fame and glory in it for you? He spotted the Cadian and Armageddon commanders exchanging glances ?I know you have gotten use to your regiments, and that you?ll be sad to see your men die.
?Understand this simple principle gentleman, we either win or are overwhelmed. Heretics are a disorganised bunch but even they managed to get themselves together on occasion. I want you to know this, and this is in the strictest confidence, the heretic armies will be upon you in two weeks. You have until then to breach and capture the Hive so we can begin landing our relief forces. Now for the specifics of the assault, our artillery has battered the walls. We think three more days and we?ll have weakened it enough for our assault. Now here\'s where the fun begins...?
Three days after the lord generals briefing and the camps were a flurry of activity. The armoured companies mustered their tanks. The infantry companies had readied themselves for the long march. By first light of the fifth day the force had moved out and was on the march. The force?s flanks covered by the armoured unit, at its head a Banblade, it was the command tank of Valantine and his fellow Commissars. The infantry force began to hang back, the armoured companies coming to the forefront. The tanks came within range, every vehicle fired with cannon and Heavy bolter. The walls shuck under the impacts, it?s masonry and rockcrete chipping and cracking. The basilisks had stopped their strikes. They now pounded the upper tiers of the hive.
Trooper Corvus of the Cadian 57th screamed as he pulled a piece of the Chimeras hull from his arm. It hung limp as he dragged himself from the blackened wreck. He looked around to see other tanks continued their assault. Their gun muzzles flashing as shell after shell pounded the wall. He dragged himself to his feet. He began to register a whining sound. It grew louder, and more began to appear. He threw himself flat as the shells began to fall. He dragged himself back into the broken shell. He sat with his back against himself against the deck plateing. He tried to think how he could escape without being made into jam, but he realised it
Valantine watched as the left flank began to flounder. The Cadian?s were taking a beating from the hives defensive artillery. He watched flames rise as vehicle after vehicle burst into flames. Valantine ducked into the tank, he pushed the vox officer out of the way and grabbed the apparatus.
?This is commissar Valantine of the Gurdun 112th, tell those damned basilisks to aim of the left flank?
A voice screeched back ?I don?t care, do it now or I?ll turn this assault around and drive it down your throat? he shouted.
The vox went silent, the artillery stopped for a moment. Valatine waited, slowly the familiar buzz of basilisk shells began to pound against the cities defender. It was now a matter of who had the more shells and men as to weather the Cadian force would survive. Valantine pulled himself back out of the turret hatch. He watched as the walls around the gate began to crumble. Slowly it gave way. He watched the wall fall
if people like this i\'ll continue with it.
This is my first bit of fan fic for the forums, any Crit welcome.
Thx,
Hawke